The key to a great apology is to never say “I’m Sorry.”

Dear {Passenger Name as it appears on Passport or Official ID},

At United, we strive to deliver a world-class flight experience to all our passengers and their families, including the {number of legs} ones. With the death of {Pet Name from Flight Cargo List}, we fell short on this promise. Rest assured, we are doing everything we can to ensure that no other {Animal Type} suffers a similar fate.

Planes were not designed to transport animals, only people and suitcases, and sometimes large bulky items such as sporting equipment for an additional fee. While we understand, that {Pet Name from Flight Cargo List} might have offered you emotional support while being confined to a three-foot squared space for {Flight duration}, you were not the only passenger on {Flight Number} whose comfort we are responsible for.

Many {Animal Type} owners make arrangements for their pets when they travel so that they don’t have to go through the stress of being on a plane or they stick to road trips where is easier to look after {Pet’s Food & Water Schedule as per instructions on Shipper’s Declaration}.

The truly horrific event that occurred has elicited many emotions from all of us: anger, grief, and a bitter reminder of our own morality. Our {Position that discovered Pet was Dead} continues to be disturbed by what he found and we have suspended him without pay while he deals with these emotions.

While the facts and circumstance are still evolving, it is still unclear to us why you needed to bring {Pet’s Name from Flight Cargo List} on your trip. We are not saying that you bear some of the responsibility for {Pet Name from Flight Cargo List}’s {Cause of Death} but we would like to remind you that as per the waiver you signed {Date Flight Booked} United is not responsible for any loss or damage to property, including {Animal Type}.

Also, we must remind you that the {Additional Insurance Fee} does not apply to live cargo.

During the death of pet, there are increased costs that United accrues such as additional cleaning, inspection, and lose of revenue due to negative PR. We are not charging you anything, even though we have your {Brand of Credit Card} on file and, in the terms and conditions you signed which clearly stated that we can charge you for any such overhead costs/damages.

As a gesture of good faith, we would like to offer you a {Amount of Pet Travel Fee} in credit for your next flight with United. We will also be making a donation of {Number of MileagePlus miles Earned} to Guide Dogs of America.

Although you are in a state of mourning, we’d love to tell you about a special initiative. For the next 7 days, you will receive double the MileagePlus points for each friend who books a flight with a pet accompaniment. Simply share your personal promo code which is at the bottom of this letter.

Everything we do at United is aimed at making your experience the best in the world. Thank you for flying the friendly skies with us to {Destination Airport}.

Sincerely,

Oscar Munoz, CEO

Promo Code: INMEMORIAM{PET NAME}

As Seen on The Belladonna Comedy

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